~When God Sends us Fireflies~

So the last week has been unrealistically bad. It involved:
-failing a math exam
- blowing my front left tire
- arguments with people who meant the most to me
-an art project going aerie after hours of work
-people saying the wrong thing at the complete wrong time, without knowing it
-missing my most favorite yearly event: Church camp (b/c of school)
-being blamed for things I did not do
-cats peeing in front of my door
-saw someone that brought back bad past relationships
-yams going bad
-A holiday that only reminds me of past pain
-a dentist forgetting an appointment
-and...someone stealing my left rearview mirror

It is funny, in the least funny way possible, how everyone at some point seems to be on a losing streak. There are moments when we just can't change what is going on around us, and are confused as to why God is allowing it all to occur. Regardless of these moments feeling as though our world has ended- God DOES send us blessings. Sometimes we are simply unwilling to watch them occur...and other times the reality of truth in them almost hurts worse than the original instance. Here are some moments that God sent me as examples...


When my test was failed, after I have tried more than most have to do well in this crazy summer class, I felt defeated. I walked down to the next building to microwave some Tai Pei (orange chicken by the way mmmmm) with a look on my face probably seeming like I had just witnessed WW3. In my feeble mind I argued with God over the whole matter of why He seemed to make me so mathematically illiterate. To me He seemingly could have just given me math skills so I could get outta the class easily and minister to people for Him. (I tend to be a very logic driven person- so OBVIOUSLY this made more sense then whatever God wanted to allow). At the very moment of arguing my final point to Him, I turned around and saw a boy who had a terribly crooked leg. The little fella walked, clinging to his cane while limping about. That was a humbling moment in the math ordeal of my life. I could fail 1000 math exams and still be able to walk/run/ride a bike/skateboard; easily do things this boy would always have to work above and beyond for. I laughed and mentioned to God i bet this boy was good at math hahaha, but the point of the story is clear enough.

On the side note of my tires, I knew there had been something wrong with them. I could feel them not working as soundly as they'd done in the past. Well, one day I was talking to Jesus on the way to school and said, "God- if my tires are gonna blow, could you maybe allow it to occur on my way to math class? I just really need a break from math class." Quickly God answered (He always tends to answer quickly so I can't think I am talking to myself. My friends Tyler and Eric find this hysterical btw), but ya He answered with a, "Oh, they will next week". I laughed to myself thinking OBVIOUSLY I'd just thought up this in my (ignoring the fast response). Then on the way to math, the very next week, I felt a grinding in my gas peddle. I was worried something was wrong and pulled over to find my very scary looking tire. Right then The Holy Spirit whispered, "Told you". Long story short- a friend brought me coffee, I got new tires put on the front, a free tail light replacement, and got back to school at the very end of ...you guessed it, MATH class.

Regardless of my art going hay-wire, my friend has come to visit me on a regular basis to check I don't lose my mind.

Regardless of arguments and getting blamed for things I didn't do Two friends brought me frozen yogurt to cheer me up.
Regardless of my new dentist marking the wrong appointment- I got a free appointment today (... although the many visits to come shall NOT be hahha) Not to mention He is from my old home town.
Regardless of a holiday i really never ever celebrate, my church family haha almost forced me to eat with them as well as reminding me that although I missed camp- I have another group of church members who care greatly about me
Regardless of being hurt by family, other family stepped up with encouragement when I never expected them too
and
Regardless of being haunted by past memories- a friend who I haven't talked to in a very long time called- cheering me up, showing there is so much beauty that comes from pain

And, in the moment I felt the most annoyed and alone, sitting in my car at night...not knowing what to do- God sent me a firefly. He flew right into my car, with the reminding me that God will always love me no matter the things I feel so very hurt and set back from. For those who don't know- fireflies are one of my favorite things in the WHOLE world! And,

I guess this entry is mostly to say, that even when we have been on a losing streak...God still sends fireflies.

_faith and prayers_

ps. hope everyone loves the new layout. :) bloggers gotten even cooler than before hahaha