///Resting in the Lord\\\

Resting in Jesus is not easy for me. It is something that takes planning and effort. I am very much a Martha and never a Mary (Luke 10:38-42). I have always grown up being that kid who pretty much has keys to the church bc she's there so often. When it comes to retreats- we'll they make my heart enthusiastic for sure! SO, naturally when i found out my college campus crusade was hosting a fall retreat i was real stoked to go. God was really wrestling with my heart over the matter. He kept asking me to rest in Him. After really struggling over going, I had a friend offer to get coffee w/ me. Her and i started talking and she saw the frustration of going that i was wrestling over. She then offered her house to me for the weekend of the retreat. There i could go and just rest in God. I would be free of schedules or details. It could truly just be me and God, along with Godly sisters in Christ. The awesome thing was I was praying God would give me an alternative if He truly did not want me to go, so i gratefully took her up on it.

This weekend was awesome. My friend, her roommate, and myself ended up having such a great time in Jesus. We got to all practice the instruments we are learning to play, while praising Jesus. There was prayer and encouragement for one another. One of the girls mothers is going to Israel. This lead to the unique opportunity for us to write prayers for the wailing wall. That was unbelievably cool to me, no lie. My tiny little rolled up, glued paper is off to another side of the globe to represent a prayer amongst a million. The wall has significance of people still believing in a God who still moves and still answers. I loved that thought.

The three of us started talking about how cool it would be if we could find our very OWN wall, near campus to use for prayers. Just as a unique place and symbol to go too and give our requests to God. Obviously all three of us pray through out the day regardless BUT nevertheless we prayed for a wall.

This weekend was also a time to let things go. One of the girls and myself went on a walk to get rid of memories. Lately God has truly convicted me about COMPLETELY giving things over to Him. It seemed as though He is begging to redeem me, and no matter what I did I couldnt just let Him. SO He brought to heart the song Ocean Floor by Audio A. I have always loved this song since I was little, and it was so cool that He kept bringing it to heart. SO I wrote down all the things that I just felt like i never truly give over to God. The things satan always seems to try to dangle in front of my face as failures. I wrote them down and went on this walk. I wanted to do an act of forgiveness that this song brings forth. I assumed I needed a few things, so I started praying for a lake, a boat, and a rock. My friend who was with me was still praying for a wall and the things necessary for her to give things over to Jesus as well.

So we come to this place and it was significant to both of us. Here lay a big pond, so i had a nice sized body of water which i was looking for. Then there we're tons of rocks to choose from to attache my note too. We walked down this little hill to where you could see the water. There was a wall beside us. We tried to ignore the spray painting on it and just took in the view. It was attached to a nice little birds nest you could walk onto and overlook the water, which i could throw my rock from. This was exciting to me, because now a boat to the middle of the lake was not necessary. There was a door in the little birds nest tower, and my friend pointed out that it was for a boat. I was very excited to see that Jesus showed me how He provides other ways, but always answers our prayers. Before going to pick out my rock i turned to read the spray painted wall. It was slightly hard to read at first. I started reading and my friend started reading too. We finally got it and we're totally taken aback. "Fear Nothing". The three of us have been praying that God start doin CRAZY things through us. We want to do things the apostles did, and we firmly believe we can. We plan to walk on water. The awesomeness of the ordeal is that it was not your ordinary spray painting. This was not graffiti, this was written with a message and a purpose, by someone who wanted to relay a message. We we're stunned and looked out on the water. Then my friend said, "Tara, LOOK AT THE WALL! Theres tons of holes." This is significant, because the Wailing Wall has tons of cracks in it. THIS WAS OUR WALL. It came with authority in Jesus name. We we're so amazed at Gods awesome Grace, Love, and Amusingness! From that moment i found a rock, taped my burdens onto it, walked up to the lil tower overlooking the water- and tossed out my burdens.

Audio Adrenalin. Ocean Floor:

The mistakes I've made

that caused pain
I could have done without
all my selfish thought
all my pride
the things I hide
you have forgot about
they're all behind you
they'll never find you
they're on the ocean floor
your sins are forgotten
they're on the bottom
of the ocean floor

my misdeeds
all my greed
all the things that haunt me now
they're not a pretty sight to see
but they're wiped away
by a mighty, mighty wave
a mighty, mighty wave
your sins are erased
and they are no more
they're out on the ocean floor
take them away
to return no more
take them away
to the ocean floor

It also went along with the poem i wrote a long time ago on this blog about "tossing pebbles out to sea, toss them out and set them free" (thats a link to the poem) But ya, there was just a significance of rocks and water with burdens being lifted for me. SOOOOooooOOooOOOOooOOoooOo I took it literally.

These are just a few of the awesome things God is doing. It only gets more and more exciting as the weeks go on. I am so glad to no longer be a Jonah in the bottom of a whale. Instead I get to venture forth like Paul or Barnabas.

Needless to say it was a unique weekend, that will help play out the rest of the year. I am so thankful God is teaching me to rest in Him. I pray that I keep striving towards learning to be a Mary.

~Faith n' Prayers~